Spike.Spiegel (diabl0) wrote in not_yet,

  • Music:

i want...

what i want most in life, is a life itself. at the moment, it could be said i have no life. i work, i eat, i sleep, and when i'm not doing any of those three, i'm devoting my time to Dani.

when i was younger, i used to dream with my best friend Leo about how things would be. we both decided that we'd live next or near each other outside of suburbia and big cities, drive big trucks, have a few dogs, and raise our kids together. our kids would be best friends just as we were, and life would be good. yeah, well... i can dream, can't i?

sometimes i wonder if i'll ever see the silver lining. i don't know where i'm headed, and i'm not totally sure what i want out of life. i want a career, not a job. i don't want just any career, i want something that's meaningful, and i like doing. my interests span across the board, so pointing to one and saying "THAT'S what i want to do!" just isn't something i can do right now. i've never been sure about anything. i like to test the water, and see which well has the coldest before i grab my bucket. of course, my parents only see me 'throwing my life away', but i don't see it that way. i enjoy what i do right now - or at least i THINK i do - and i plan to keep doing it for some time to come.

in all honesty, the only thing i'm 100% sure of, is the fact that i know EVERYTHING i'm doing in my life at this point in time, is taking me in one direction. i'm following the golden path, and all i know is it ends at Miranda's front door. i don't know what i'll be doing along the way, who i will meet, what's going to happen with my life. but i figure as long as i have her, i'll be winning the game, and not losing.

ohh, and white picket fences would be cool too... kthnx

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